I am burnt out.
I have always been an overachiever. Straight A's, AP classes, and all the extracurriculars throughout school. Mathematics degree, physics minor, original mathematical results, and a ballet career simultaneously. A couple of successful cruise contracts, COVID, worked four jobs, promotion to dance captain, new ship. I feel like I have been going and going and going like the Energizer bunny since before I can remember.
Not only was I taking on too much, I also was pushing myself too hard. Even though I had already booked the job, I always felt like I had something to prove. First in, last out. Always making sure I warmed up the longest. By constantly driving myself to be better, I ended up almost driving myself off a cliff: I got hurt.
A day I was truly thriving at work, not just surviving.
Even multiple shoulder dislocations weren't going to stop me. After I was sent home from the ship, I was in PT, doing my exercises every day, pushing to get back to it. And when I was cleared to return to the ship, I was back in my same habits, driving and driving to be better.
But then something strange happened. Somewhere between being in constant pain and poor working conditions, influenced by news stories full of mass shootings and anti-LGBTQ rhetoric, I stopped feeling passionate. I was just existing. I was eating to live rather than enjoy, and I lost weight because of it. I stopped creating. I was going to work and then going home just to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling.
I've never burnt out before. Even when times are tough, I've always had that inner spark that keeps me alive and moves me forward. This time it felt like someone had held that spark underwater until it extinguished.
Why is Burnout more common these days?
I think burnout is very common in this economy. With low wages and high cost of living, people are under a lot of pressure to keep their nose to the grindstone just to make ends meet. We are also living in a very politically divided environment right now. I know I have been feeling extra anxiety from the constant attacks on the LGBTQ community. It seems like so many lawmakers and ordinary citizens want to erase us from existence, and that has been weighing heavily on me. Additionally, with the lack of common sense gun laws, many of us feel unsafe just going about our daily lives with the threat of mass shootings constantly hanging over our heads.
So what can we do? What Small Change can we possibly make that can fix all of this?
The short answer is, there is no perfect solution. I wish I could magically fix all these environmental factors that are contributing so heavily to my burnout, but I just can't.
We have to choose to live. In spite of all the negative things that are going on in the world, we have to choose to live joyfully and on purpose. I know this sounds like cliche, bandaid type of advice, but it's the best suggestion I can give. Despite our fears, pressures, and anxieties, we have to choose to enjoy life as much as we can.
How can you combat burnout?
There is no right or wrong way to beat burnout, no cure-all answer on how to do it. If you're looking for a place to get started combatting the burnout blues, here are some things that have really helped me start to get out of my funk.
Number One: Go Outside. It may seem like a simple fix, but going for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine or feeling the rain on your face can really help shift your perspective and remind you of the bigger picture.
A beautiful sunset from a day I was feeling particularly down on myself and didn't want to get out of bed.
Number Two: Eat Healthy Foods. Part of the reason I burned out so quickly on the ship was lack of access to nutritious foods. Healthy food gives you energy, so it can help combat some of the lethargy that burnout causes.
Number Three: Exercise. Our bodies are made to move, so whether you are hitting the gym, going for a walk, or doing a gentle stretch, getting some wiggles in will help release some endorphins and also make you feel like you accomplished something.
Number Four: Work on a New Skill. For me, this was singing and knitting. Working on something new gives your brain a challenge and gives you a goal to work towards.
Number Five: Do Something Nice for Yourself. Whether it's a luxurious spa day or something more affordable like an ice cream sandwich, giving yourself something nice is a good reminder that you are a human who deserves joy and happiness.
Number Six: Do Something Nice for Others. Helping others in a small way reminds us how we fit into the larger community, and shows us that society can be a good structure filled with positive interactions if we make it so. So whether you decide to volunteer for a day at your local soup kitchen, donate a few dollars to a favorite organization, or listen to a friend, you can make a positive impact on others and yourself.
In Conclusion
I am still feeling the effects of flaming out so brightly, but I am learning to be patient and to treat myself with kindness. I am slowly feeling my spark come back, along with the itch of creativity that defines me as an artist. I hope soon to recover my intense drive for improvement, but I hope that this time I will learn to heed my own advice and move at a gentler pace for my own sake.
If any of you are experiencing burnout and are looking for someone to talk to, I am always here.
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